My friend “John” (a middle aged man) wondered why his co-workers avoided him and why his personal relationships didn’t last.
John is a professional with impressive degrees. He has very little awareness of how he communicates with others. When co-workers try to clarify an issue, he behaves as if the person is attacking him. By taking things personally, he becomes suspicious, defensive and overreacts.
I made him aware enough to change the question he was asking himself from “why people don’t like me?” to “what do I need to do in order to be liked by others?” He looked shocked at first and replied, “it is not my fault, you don’t understand, people just don’t like me.” Continue reading